Surprisingly I am acclimating to the 5am writing schedule pretty well. My alarm is the Silent Hill air raid siren, so you only really need to snooze once before you’re up. My wife encourages me with elbows to the ribs too. She likes to snooze a bit longer before getting up for work.
Anyways today I managed to get 776 words into a thousand word limit article I pitched a week ago and got the green light for. I should be finished with it after tomorrow morning. I’m struggling with the idea that anyone would want to read this article, as it is a personal story rather than purely informative. Like why would you care that Buffy the Vampire Slayer & the X-Files got me through the foster care system, and my parents imprisonment when I was a boy, then growing into a teen with just my mom…
I’m just not sure that’s interesting. I mean I know that it’s not normal, but why would you, the reader, care? I know that this fear stems from my bipolar disorder. This is exactly the kind of shit my anti-muse would whisper. Sowing doubt and discord in my mind until writing becomes a useless gesture. It wants me to give up again.
Well fuck that.
I’m stronger than my diagnosis. In a way, writing is helping me trudge through my depression by bringing me joy, and confidence. The more confidence I gain, the more I am motivated to write. The more joy I feel writing, the more I want to interact with other writers on social media to share that joy. The more I interact, the more writers I see out there absolutely killing it with their kung fu. Nothing motivates me more than seeing another writer hustling hard. It makes me want to work just as hard, if not harder. But not as a fuck you, more as a high five on the playing field. I’ll never understand why people get jealous of others hard work. Maybe they don’t like how it reflects upon their own work, or lack thereof. Whatever. We should be lifting each other up, not clamoring for the front of the line. Just my two cents.
Tonight I think I will make a little offering to the Norse god Bragi, the god of poetry and song, for a little inspiration. Been a while.
Art taken off norse-mythology.org